I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
