he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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