That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
