Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
