I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
