does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
