I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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