Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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