i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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