it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
only if we run a train.
done.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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