maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
