you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
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