Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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