we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
