Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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