It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
