Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
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Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize