Tell her she can't have a vagina
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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