what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
