so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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