stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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