all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I wear drunk well.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
