Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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