Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
