**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
