just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
