After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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