hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize