Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
