i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
