all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
