your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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