that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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