Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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