i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
