these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
