when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
