Plan B is the new Plan A
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
