But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
