I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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