We got so high we made milksteak
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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