people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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