I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
