3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
