then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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