this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
