Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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