ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
