5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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