4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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