my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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