So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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