before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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