if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
