I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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