life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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