Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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