She's JV to your varsity
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
smell my finger.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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