I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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