I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i think im in europe. pls send help
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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