i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
did i just pee glitter
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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