I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
