i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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