Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
