is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
