The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
