Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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