he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
