And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
