Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
