You made me cry and you don't even care
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
