so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize